“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”
— Matthew 5:43–45 (NIV)

As painful as physical suffering can be, I believe nothing cuts deeper than emotional pain, especially when it’s caused by someone we love. The depth of that pain often depends on the offense itself and the closeness of the relationship. When we’re hurt, verses like Romans 12:19 can feel incredibly hard to accept:

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
— Romans 12:19 (NIV)

In moments of deep hurt, the natural response is often to take matters into our own hands. But recently, I’ve come to see vengeance from a new perspective, through the eyes of a parent.

When one of my children wrongs a sibling, I feel the pain of the child who was hurt, but I also feel compassion for the one who did the hurting. Yes, I want to see restitution, but I also want forgiveness and healing. Even as an imperfect parent, I long for reconciliation. How much more must God, the perfect Father, desire the same?

The story of Jonah offers a great example. God sent Jonah to warn the sinful nation of Nineveh of coming judgment. Jonah refused, because he knew they would repent, and he knew God would be merciful. Jonah didn’t want them forgiven; he wanted them punished. And yet, when the people in Nineveh humbled themselves, God forgave them just as Jonah had feared.

God asks us to leave vengeance to Him, not just because He is just but because He is also merciful. And we’re warned not to gloat when others face consequences, even if they’ve wronged us:

“Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn His wrath away from them.”
— Proverbs 24:17–18 (NIV)

As a parent, this resonates deeply. I would be heartbroken if one of my children rejoiced while their sibling suffered. I want them to learn and grow from their mistakes not to be destroyed by them. Likewise, God wants His children to repent, return, and experience forgiveness. He is the Father of the prodigal son, watching and waiting for the wayward child to come home.

So be careful not to gloat when someone who hurt you suffers. They are still God’s child and He longs for their restoration, just as He longs for yours.

And then there’s Job. Most of us know his story of suffering, but there’s a powerful verse often overlooked:

“And the LORD restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed, the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.”
— Job 42:10 (NIV)

Job’s friends failed him in his darkest hour. Yet it was only after he prayed for them that his restoration came. Forgiveness opened the door to blessing.

Leaving vengeance in God’s hands and resisting the urge to gloat are hard teachings. But they are essential ones. May God help us obey His word, trust His justice, and reflect His mercy.