“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Most people are familiar with this phrase. For a long time, I assumed it was from the Bible or another religious text, but it actually comes from the poet Alexander Pope in his 1709 work An Essay on Criticism. These words ring true: we are fallen beings in a fallen world, and despite our best intentions, we often hurt those we care about. Yet, in our human nature, we also struggle to offer forgiveness when we’re wronged.

There are moments when we can’t imagine ever hurting someone we care about, but in the next moment, we’re doing exactly what we never thought we would. In Matthew 26:33 (NIV), in response to Jesus hinting at his crucifixion, Peter declares, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.” Jesus goes on to tell him that he will deny him that very night. Peter insists in verse 35, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” Yet, Peter denies Jesus thrice that very night. If we’re honest, we might have done something similar to someone we care about. We mean well in our hearts, but when our selfishness takes over, we make other choices.

Forgiving those who have wronged us can feel like a Herculean task. We often need God’s power to work through the infraction and achieve true reconciliation. However, there are significant benefits to reconciliation, which I’ll explore in this post.

1. It Frees Our Minds and Brings Us Peace

Holding onto grudges weighs us down and saddens our hearts. Letting go of past hurts is not only freeing but can also bring deep healing.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

2. It Restores Relationships and Builds Community

Sometimes, successfully navigating conflict leads to stronger bonds. In the story of Peter, despite his denial, Jesus forgave him. Peter went on to become a pillar of the church. In John 21:15-16 after the resurrection, Jesus asks him to “feed my lambs” and “take care of my sheep,” referring to his followers. Peter rises to this challenge in the Acts of the Apostles and the Epistles.

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” – Psalms 133:1 (KJV)

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)

3. It Brings Joy to Our Heavenly Father

God calls us to love and forgive, not because people deserve it, but because it’s his command. This act of obedience is also a form of worship.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:43-44 (NIV)

4. It Demonstrates Christ’s Love to Others

We may be the only manifestation of Christ some people will ever see on earth. Christ is characterized by sacrificial love and forgiveness, as shown in the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). This parable reflects God’s heart and exemplifies how we are called to act.

“… because as he is, so are we in this world.” – 1 John 4:17 (KJV)

5. It Protects Us from the Devil’s Schemes

Holding onto anger and bitterness opens the door for the devil to enter our lives, bringing trouble and calamity.

“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” – Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10 (NIV)

6. It Strengthens Our Prayer Life and Communion with God

God wants us to resolve conflicts, if possible. Many conflicts have two viewpoints, and the person who has offended you may also feel hurt.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” – Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV)

7. It Leads to Blessings

As shown in the scriptures above, God desires our forgiveness. When we live in obedience by quickly and intentionally forgiving those who wrong us, we align with God’s will. And the Bible is full of promises for those who obey. You can read Deuteronomy 28:1-14 for some of the blessings that come with obedience.

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” – Joshua 1:8 (NIV).

While I am clearly advocating for forgiveness and the restoration of broken relationships, it’s important to acknowledge that some relationships should not be restored after forgiveness. This is especially true in cases of ongoing toxicity, abuse, or when the other party refuses to reconcile. God calls us to live in peace (1 Corinthians 7:15), and in my view, this doesn’t mean we should remain subjected to continual abuse. Proverbs reminds us that a prudent person sees danger and takes precautions, but a simpleton walks on and suffers (Proverbs 22:3, 27:12). When someone refuses to repent and continues harmful behavior, it might be necessary to walk away. Matthew 18:15-17 offers guidance on how to approach this.

The story of Joseph in Genesis provides a beautiful example of forgiveness. As Christ followers, whatever wrong has been done to us can become part of our story and work for our good if we choose to forgive and follow God-honoring principles. As Romans 8:28 (KJV) says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Your pain is real, but it is not the end of your story—or the other person’s.

In the next post, we will explore practical ways to work through conflict and find the healing and peace we long for.